I go to a small liberal arts college in the Northeast. It’s beautiful, bucolic. Especially in the fall, it’s wonderful to see the gold-tinged leaves, the trees that look like they’re on fire, the clear, gradient sunsets. Here, in this hermetic campus, I feel mostly safe, I don’t feel like I need to hide my secrets. But yet, I’m writing anonymously here because, I don’t know, I still feel like I have something to unburden, a weight I need to get off my chest. One secret, specifically, which is that I like women. I stumbled upon the fact this semester. I, someone who used to say that I am 110% straight, had to face the fact that I was had a big-time crush on someone in my class.
I’m not sure what I’m doing on here, and what I plan to do with this. Word-vomit most likely and future fodder for cringe-sessions if I ever want to feel bad about myself.
Anyway, so the aforementioned girl. Her name is S, and currently we’re in the dating limbo stage…I think. I’m confused and in despair and my friends are surely sick of hearing about my dramatized antics. Also, I’ve learned from my dear friends that I apparently love to self-sabotage, ruin good things that are going. So I guess this is a the written representation of me & my antics.